Yeah, I have cancer, but on the upside....

So, here is a look at the plus side of cancer;
and you didn't think there were any....

1- Constant coddling. You get to be coddled by others, some of whom are not prone to coddling, which makes it extra special!

2- Did I mention all the gifts? I am always getting loads of gifts from people!

3- Short-haired friends. Thank God for these lovely women! I am lucky enough to have
girlfriends who don't give a hoot about their hair, so therefore, could care less what mine looks like. (Recently, I was going to visit a friend and her adorable four year old for a "play date." Since I was meeting her child for the first time since he was a newborn, I didn't want to scare him with my buzz cut, so I told my friend I'd wear a wig. As the day of the date drew nearer, I quickly realized that this little boy's mommy, my dear friend, had a very short pixie-like haircut, only a little bit longer than mine was! So, why was I so worried about her son's reaction? P.S. I ended up wearing a handkerchief with short hairs spiking through and he could really have cared less!)

4- WIGS! I can be a blonde with a cute bob one day, then BAM! The next day, I'm a red-head with curly hair!

5- I can now finally experiment with false eyelashes. People forget to mention that, with chemotherapy, not only do you lose your hair but you also lose your eyelashes and eyebrows. However, in the time when I wasn't receiving treatments, I was surprised to find that mine grew back and I have to say I think my eyelashes were longer then ever.

6- No guilt over eating the last piece of chocolate cake. Certain motherly figures in my life keep pressuring me to eat, so it doesn't matter what it is, as long as I'm eating!

7- I get the best seat in the house. I've adapted a general no-guilt feeling when I choose the comfiest place to sit upon entering a room, (they just assume I'm in pain and need a good place to sit).

8- I win! (when friends get together and talk about whose life sucks the most: kids, parents, dating, etc....I always win! No one can top my dramatic stories.)

9-I get chauffeured. I am still not driving that much, so constantly have "drivers"....um can anyone say celebrity status?

10-My Parents now beg me to go out....and spend money. I used to be reprimanded for coming in late, but now it's encouraged. Being stuck inside the house all day, I guess I'm not the only one who feels like I need a good night out with the girls.

11- Don't have to make excuses. I'm excused from the dinner table whenever I want, no explanation, even when company's over. They just assume I need to go take my meds or I just say I can't sit for long in "those" chairs b/c they hurt my back.

12- Can be a b**ch. I now have a general exemption for being "good"company. I don't have to do much talking or entertaining when people come over. I can get away with most anything in these types of situations.

13- Am treated like princess. "Don't move, I'll get it. Is there any more of your laundry I can do for you? Can I give you a massage? What would you like for dinner? Can I paint your fingernails, ma'am?" :)

14-No excuse naps. Not having to make excuses or feel guilty over taking naps....oh, and the lovely, lovely dreams. I tend to sleep a lot and one of my favorite parts of the day is when I take a nap. Also, with the right cocktail of medication comes the greatest dreams....which lead me to my next point...

15- The drugs! While some drugs I take make me terribly sick, there are also the kind that make me feel like I'm Ginger Rogers in only the best Astaire movies...... and they sometimes give me delusions of grandeur....did I say I'm treated like a princess?

16- Once again, I can be a b*tch. I can get away with saying whatever I want. I have developed the habit of being bluntly honest despite the consequences. Actually, this is one I truthfully have come to love. I have always tended to reveal more than share, so it is actually refreshing to say what I'm really thinking.

17-NO FEAR! Sometimes I think that there isn't anything they could tell me that would scare me b/c I've been through the darkest depths, sometimes wondering if I'd ever return...and I have....so they can't get to me anymore. (This is a real one)

18- Truth-telling serum. Seriously, you see people for who they really are. The true self is revealed. Sometimes I am met with teary eyes, sympathetic nods, or words of encouragement and a strength I never thought possible. However, for some it's easier to run away, hide, ignore, and has even broken some. While this cancer is pushing me beyond my limits, it is also testing those most dear to me. (This is a real one, too.)

19- You can't say "No!" People can not turn me down. I get what I want. I wanted an Ipod, I got an Ipod. I wanted a laptop, I got a laptop. I wanted a dog, I got a dog....a temporary one, anyways. I wanted a kitty, I got a kitty. (Keep in mind, these were all asked for tentatively, out of consideration and given a lot of thought.) ;)

(Obviously, for anyone who really knows me, you must have realized by now that these are not, by any means, serious. At best, I am trying to make a comical effort in looking at my life in a different way.)